Do you know how it feels?. When things kind of rearrange themselves and fall into place with a satisfying click?. Leaving with you a sense of relieved disbelief? wondering if the world itself is not in playing a nasty joke on you?.

Well for me today.. was one of those days? There was a transition to a particular group in my company which I had been working towards for the past one year? and today things moved at a speed which defied my own expectations… making me a very very happy man in the end?

I guess these moments do happen, in everyone?s? lives? for me the first such moment took some time to come?.

I was scared of speaking in public. Scared, I mean really really scared. The kind of scared which means getting goosebumps, and knocking knees all at the same time. When I was still younger.. I guess 8th standard? I had a pretty sad debut on the podium? forgetting the lines of Nehru?s ?Tryst with Destiny? in front of 25 other schools at Lucknow. ?.The sad part is that I still remember that speech by heart !

I was convinced that facing a crowd was something I would never be able to do? be it speaking? or singing

It was in standard 12? the senior ?most class in my school, that I was told that I am supposed to give a speech on Republic Day. Just one of those speeches that we saw every year in school? the kid who spoke after the National Flag was unfurled? and the mandatory patriotic songs sung? and the Principal praised the chief guest to the skies.. and the chief guest would explain the real meaning of patriotism and our duties with finger wagging sagacity? and finally we would line up for our bag of sweets, waving paper flags all along?

Yes that year.. that kid was supposed to be me? and for me it was as good as committing hara-kiri. I guess spent almost a week writing my speech, to tell the truth, still remember some of the stuff I wrote in there? and then I practiced it and recorded it on the old BPL cassette recorder we had at home?.I was scared, and determined not to make a fool of myself all over again? like the way I did the last time I uttered anything on a microphone?

The D-Day arrived? and I spoke my heart out. Oblivious of the not so proper things you say when you are 17 years old.. filled with the passion of a teenage mind? and my dad was there in the crowd listening to me. I did not falter, and I did not forget my lines.. I paused at the right moments and I smiled at the right places. In short, I loved it. At the end, every one clapped? glad it was over?. And later my father told me that I was good. THAT made my day.

At my engineering college.. during ragging, I discovered that those who could sing, escaped the more humiliating things that you could be made to do?. So I sang. And for the next 4 years, saw my name appearing on the list of all college song competitions on its own. During my MBA, I guess I was on a roll the day I won 5 events for my team at a B School fest?

I am bragging, yes, and for this one aspect of my life, I am not pretty apologetic about it either, because just between us, I am pretty proud of it as well.

Today, training and talking and communicating are my biggest strengths. And to think that till class 11th I was convinced that Medicine would have been a great career choice for an introvert like me.

You never really know, what might change tomorrow. Something that gives you sleepless nights today might be your source of strength tomorrow.

A year back.. I was floundering in a career which did not seem to be heading in any direction which I would have enjoyed. It has taken me a year to mould it back towards activities and roles that I find more fulfilling personally.

You know, its days like these? which make you look forward to the rest of your life?.

The first post for this season.. Wish You All a Happy New Year

Comments from the past:

s
27 Jan 2007, 3:14pm

sigh…

Ashish
27 Jan 2007, 7:54pm

???

s
27 Jan 2007, 9:57pm

ah, just waiting for some of that luck to come by

Ashish
28 Jan 2007, 1:54am

Oh… well am sure its on its way …

coretta
2 Feb 2007, 12:24am

Blessed :)–U are